d day tat i cnnt 4get...(9/1 -10/1)

9/1(friday)- i kalaii n bri plan 2 go 2 cyber...1st juz wanna lepak wif laura...bt wat happen is kalaii wanted me 2 proposed 2 justin on tat day itself..if nt she wont follow me 2 cyber...so i agree wif her.tat i wil proposed...althought there is almost goin 2 b 6 month tat i like him... so i agree 2 tel him. later on, about 8pm we reach if i nvr tel...kalaii said she wanted 2 tell him..bt i dun wan it 2 happen..so i let him go 1st coz he need 2 stdy...d nex day he gt xam..which is on 10/1...i dun wan 2 hurt kalaii....thn i sms him 2 meet him at d pool is about 10.30pm... thn we chitchat til 1 sumtin in d mornin...ltr on kalaii kept smsin askin me tel him dy o nt...i feel vry hapi after i c him...bt i cnnt tell words that i love him..thn ltr on he said wanna do his revision so ..thn i let him go..so he said he wil meet me again if i nvr sleep early....thn i join again my gang..after tat thy all plan 2 hv thanni....so i agree thn v hvin thanni (kalaii,laura,yani,bri n me)...laura force me 2 swim at mornin which is 2am sumtin...so i aso change cloth n swim wif her...thn i feel damn cold, kalaii n me bck 2 hse n change cloth..bt kalaii stil din leave me...she wanted me 2 tell him b4 leavin cyber...thn she tuk my fon n sms justin asked him cn meet again o nt?? thn he ask me 2cum 2 d shop..so i aso went ter n v talk normal oni,,i stil in nervous...he wuz hvin thanni wif his frn...in sum moment i feel bad coz i disturb him wen he wuz wif his frn...thn he aso intro sum of his frn 2 me...after tat...

jeng...jeng...jeng....

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v started 2 walk thn i start 2 open my mouth...im keep on strugglin n i dun hv words 2 talk...i juz waitin 4 his answer...bt 1 part wen he said tat "wen gt another generation ,his parents doesnt wish 2 hv a son like him" wen he tell tiz i feel so bad, n abit hurt. n of course touchme alot...i wan 2 share evry his burden...i wan be wif him...thn we walk in d rain..hehe...n he talk..he said he need sum tym ...coz after so long he wuz single...he feel shock wen i proposed 2 him...after finish talkin suddenly his fav song wuz play by sum dude near d shop,he kept on tellin tat he love tat song so much...thn he hug me...*actuali i wanted 2 ask him cn i hug him?* bt suddenly he cm n hug me...I <3 him...mayb for other gurl he cn b bad image..bt 4 me he alwiz gud...after i bck 2 my frn they drag me 2 1 place n wanted 2 noe wat happen..bt seriosly i cnnt tell anytin 2 them coz i feel my body emotionally weak n ask them 2 sent me bck 2 room...n they aso sent me...after reach i straight away sleep...d nex mornin i woke up at 7 sumtin n i 4got 2 wish him gud luck 4 his xam...thn i wish him..thn i dun noe wat happen i kept on vomit n til 2dy im nt stable...i dun noe y??? bt i wont GIVE UP!!! i wanted 2 b his part of life...i hope he will understand tiz soon...n i will be waitin 4 u....wat cn i do 4 him...i cnnt express my feeling...i cnnt tel any1 tat im cryin...especially him...i doesnt want he 2 noe im hurtin inside..is love is a false???..bt im still hapi...coz i noe he is nt d guy who like 2 hurt ppl.

My Life is Unpredictable......